this is a picture I drew

When I think about you it makes me feel like I'm exploding, or is it imploding? Makes me feel like there are earthquakes shuddering through my skin... like if you get a deep pan of chocolate, semi-molten, and you put a spoon in it and stir around... the chocolate gets sucked into this swirly vortex - that's how I feel, like a collection of deep round whirling pits. It's electrifying and snugly-warm at the same time. I feel like I'm spilling out of my own eyes, I'm flooding the air with the thought of you.

of course none of this is actually relevant, and everything is as sad and pathetic as before, because I'm just... projecting. as usual.

I need to share something personal because we all know that people who write diaries secretly want the whole world to know. The whole idea of a diary as catharsis makes sense and is plausible, except - how is talking to yourself meant to achieve anything? Definitely doesn't for me. Where is the human contact.

and the best kind of empathy is the kind that comes from well-meaning strangers because you never have to see them again.

hello intarwebz

and my nuts and honey boy.. you're batshit stupid crazy and I don't know what draws me to you. I must have terrible taste. :/